I got this Dementia Test from Dad.  Pretty funny!  I guess I must have dementia cause I got a few of the answers wrong too! 

 

It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.  Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.  Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are there so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

 

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something  else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

 

 2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these???  If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.

 4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane  fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man's land?"

Answer: You don't bury survivors.  If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 1 1 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on . In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions

Welcome to Fred's Space!  

 

Funny story.  Everyday, I take the bus to Ningbo University.  It's about a 30 minute bus ride.  One day on the way home, there was a woman holding a baby.  The baby was maybe 1 or 2 years old.   The bus was quite full of people, which is normal.  The baby started to cry and the mother realized that the baby had to go poopie.  So she grabs the bus garbage can, a little plastic waste basket, and put it's in the middle of the bus by her chair.  She holds the baby up over the waste basket and pulls his pants down.  Oh, my god!  He's gonna go poopie right here in the middle of the bus while we're still moving!  The baby was crying, drawing all kinds of attention to him.  Fortunately for us passengers, he wasn't able to go poopie.  That would have been one stinky bus ride home!  

 

Another funny story.  I was chatting with one of my friends.  He has a young daughter, about 5 years old, who goes to the local International School here in Ningbo.  In this school, there are foreign students from all over the world as well as some local students.   It's a private school and the tuition is quite expensive.  One day, the school had a meeting with all the children and the parents.  It was in a big auditorium that hold about 2000 people.  In the front few rows were the foreign children.  Behind them were the parents.   So, right behind the foreign kids, there was this lady who was holding a baby.  At this time, the meeting had already started and everyone was sitting down.   Of course, the baby wants to poop.   So what does she do?  Well...  She pulls his pants down, spreads her legs so he can sit on her lap.  Just like a toilet seat.  And the kid just goes poopie right there on the ground.  She just leaves it there, poopie all stinky right in front of her.  Pretends like nothing every happened.  All the foreign kids in front could smell it.  Of course, the kids complain to the administrator, but she just said, "Well, you know.  Just move to a different seat."